


Dearly Departed

by johnwick



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - The Walking Dead Fusion, Comedy??, M/M, Romance, sehun being a meme, some character death as is inevitable in such a setting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-09-30 23:45:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10175423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnwick/pseuds/johnwick
Summary: In the middle of the apocalypse, the end of the world doesn’t begin till Kyungsoo is reunited with Jongin.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on 10KFRProject! Check out the fest if you haven't yet! crossposted to my aff as well (tedcruz)

_Alone._  
  
The moment he had finished gasping soundlessly, the cold truth of once again being left alone washed over him. Trembling slightly, all he could feel was the gut churning guilt of being the lone survivor.   
  
This was a process he was all too familiar with, and one he loathed experiencing every time. He felt the remorse slowly crawl up the skin of his arms, leaving shivers to wrack over his body.  
  
The questions then started, as usual, but with one in particular standing out in solemn repetition.  
  
 _Why me?  
  
Why is it always just me?_  
  
Do Kyungsoo was by no means a weak man. Despite the short build and youthful features mistaken for inexperience, Kyungsoo was packing toned arms and muscular legs that aided him in fight or flight. The dead didn’t really stand a chance against his powerful swerves, whether he was wielding baseball bats or sharp pocket knives. And the living… well, they had often underestimated his true capabilities, their better judgments clouded by doe eyes and a soft, unassuming voice.   
  
Kyungsoo was a survivor; he was strong.   
  
But behind his knack for survival was his weakness to isolation. Even before all of this, before the world went to fucking shit, Kyungsoo was never one to be alone. He was not necessarily the most popular guy in his high school, but his boyish charm had won him a close knit group of friends and many acquaintances.   
  
 _All of whom are probably dead._  
  
A laboured sigh escaped his lips as his eyes drooped to a close.   
  
 _What does it really mean to be strong?_  
  
Leaning against the backseat of an abandoned Nissan, Kyungsoo mentally asked himself over and over again. How can he consider himself strong if he can never protect the people around him?   
  
His thoughts blocked out all else, muting the noises coming from outside to distant, dull thuds barely audible against his unresponsiveness.   
  
Huddling his legs closer to his body with one hand, his right aimlessly played out a melody he dimly recalled learning in his early adolescence. He didn’t even remember the name of the tune. Didn’t know if the execution was even perfect. It was just… instinctive. The gentle pressures left behind on the damaged material already ingrained into the muscles of his fingers; each key following the previous reflexively.   
  
Kyungsoo’s reflexes were what had kept him alive. Formerly, it had been fear that drove his senses to fight. Fear for his family (now dead), his friends (now dead) and fear for himself. Witnessing countless losses within his circulating group of survivors – his allies – had however slowly numbed his fear, letting rise to a different emotion. One Kyungsoo would rather die than to feel over and over.   
  
He didn’t even know himself why he kept on living though. Whenever he was left alone to his thoughts, much like the present moment, Kyungsoo had seriously contemplated pulling the trigger on his life. But then, he is stopped. He is pulled back into the land occupied by the living dead for reasons he cannot even fathom himself, but he lives anyway. He kept fighting, even if it was tearing his soul.   
  
A part of him wanted to fight in solitude, even if his endgame was bleak. He was afraid of the damage he would ripple into the lives of other survivors. He hated being held responsible for everyone he had came across. He hated being the only one equipped with the ability to come out of any situation alive, the others ending up dead or missing. Gone from his life, either way.   
  
However, the bigger, suppressed part knows his only desire was companionship. No matter whether it be temporary and unpredictable, Kyungsoo craved at least one other heartbeat beside his.  
  
The living come and they go. Kyungsoo had learned that much in the past… he didn’t even know how much time had passed since it began. He was unconscious to the time that has passed, apprehensive of the future and simply accepting of his present. The obvious constant in Kyungsoo’s life was the imminent threat of death; if he was lucky. Turning, if he wasn’t. The implicit consequence of being a part of this world was the guilt he swallowed down with every breath he inhaled. That was what haunted him the most.   
  
Kyungsoo gazed at the loose strings escaping the car seat in a daze, barely flinching at the knocking and groaning outside the window. His fingers continued dancing on their own, creating a muted version of a song he once knew. Ripped, inhumanly human limbs scratched at the parts of the glass he could see through.   
  
Through the haze in his mind Kyungsoo dazedly watched the reanimated corpse of a familiar young woman groaning and slamming her grimy hands on the window. He had only met her and her husband a mere two days ago before they were swamped. Kyungsoo gritted his teeth at the memory of it; the three of them were enough to take down the dead, but the couple’s lack of experience led Kyungsoo to flee with screams filling the air and flesh being ripped from bones.   
  
The car was covered in dried blood and coats of dust and rubble long before he had locked himself inside, leaving only few spaces of clarity to look through. Kyungsoo’s eyes lifelessly roamed the perimeter of the rear windshield before it paused at the top right corner. A deviation to the dust-laced screen stood out to him; the letters  **J S S**  disturbing the grime from outside.   
  
He stared at it a lot longer than he needed to. Someone had stopped to inscribe a note onto a car. Without their reasons for doing so becoming clear, a bolt of optimism roused Kyungsoo up to gather in his surroundings, vision becoming clearer. Though, he wasn’t even sure what it was – someone’s initials, a prayer even – the message gave him a sense of hope. He didn’t know why someone took time to articulately disturb the dust, he didn’t understand the meaning behind it, but somehow, he felt like this could be applied to him. Applied to anyone, really, but he felt a rush of hope taking over the remnants of remorse. Whatever the message meant, someone had survived long enough to put it there, and he was going to live for them. Live so that their message wouldn’t be meaningless.   
  
The sleeping remnants of his determination stirred and he felt himself reach for his bat.   
  
Kyungsoo was struck back into reality by a particularly aggressive shove against the door. Wiping his face with his jacket, Kyungsoo took one last glimpse of the letters, before eyeing the biters. There were only three of them, as far as he could see, but even if there were more, he knew he could take them. The others must’ve got bored, or ceased to sense his presence in a corroded, blood splattered car. He could take them.  
  
He grabbed the bat leaning against his thigh with a newfound sense of conviction. _Back to business._  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The voices were hushed, cautious whispers directing orders and instructions back and forth. Kyungsoo could tell from the tones of those voices that they were more or less in the same mess as he was.  _We were so careful…How could you have made such a racket?... How did we end up in a situation like this?_  
  
 _How did_  he  _end up in a situation like this?_  
  
Kyungsoo was trapped. Trapped and surrounded in a supposedly abandoned warehouse. He gritted his teeth in annoyance. Kyungsoo had broken one of his own rules, that is, to  _never assume anything_ , and his own incompetence had him in a situation where he was trapped inside a building with who knows what.  _Or who knows who_ , from the sounds of it; while he did hear some groaning, they sounded very much alive.   
  
He took that back, there was definitely muffled, undead groaning coming from outside as well. It was faint, but even from his spot behind aisles and haphazard boxes of canned foods, he could hear the desperate scratches against the walls and the throaty noises coming out of what could only be a hoard of biters.   
  
A whole goddamn hoard. Kyungsoo was so screwed. If he did manage to reach the exit, how would he be able to fight off so many of them? From experience, he could handle ten of them at a given moment, but this... This didn’t sound good to him at all. Not to mention the living he would have to deal with on his way out. He would very much like to spare that confrontation as well. How could he have been so careless as to end up like this?  
  
He had walked aimlessly for what seemed like weeks (and it probably was) after fighting his way out of that car, to the point where he was honestly faint with hunger. Given that his old crossbow was discarded in a previous attempt to run, he had no means of hunting game. Relying on greens and berries can only get him so far, and with his minimal knowledge on toxic plants, living that way was too close to a game of Russian Roulette.  
  
His limbs defeated by exhaustion and his mind ravenously looking out for any sort of food outlet, Kyungsoo stopped by the first storage facility he’d come across, hoping to stay put for a while. And he thought he was in the clear, after driving his bat through a few skulls of course, and things seemed to be relatively quiet enough for him to enjoy satisfying his own rumbling stomach.  
  
That was before a crash from outside followed by gunshots and some very loud yelling alerted every biter in the vicinity to his location.   
  
 _Never assume anything_ , a voice in the back of his mind whispered. He should have never assumed his safety under the roof of an obvious attraction to the living in broad daylight. He smacked his fist against his forehead, berating himself for his sloppiness.  
  
He had scrambled up to hide behind the fallen boxes, effectively shielding himself from whoever it was that had stumbled inside his hideout through the same entrance he had used. Now  _that_  exit was out of the question; he could almost see the grime being left behind on the walls by the filthy, hungry fingers.   
  
The voices died down, but Kyungsoo knew better than to let his guard down again. There was no way anyone inside could have made an escape already. He couldn’t hear anything else now save for the withered cries that have multiplied in volume. That means there must be more of them outside. Kyungsoo exhaled. While his bat lay on the ground at his side, his knife was gripped in his hand, his legs bent down in anticipation and his ears perked up to register any sounds within the warehouse.  
  
It was too bad his enemy was much lighter on their feet than he could ever have anticipated. It was far too late for Kyungsoo to react as fast as he would have liked. There was a soft crunch right behind him, but before he could fully turn around, an arm gripped his bicep and twisted him backwards so that he was now face to face with a man.   
  
Kyungsoo almost drops his knife.   
  
“You!”  
  
“You!” the man gasped, recognition flitting across his face moments before a mischievous glint took over. Kyungsoo was quick to wipe that look off of him, thrusting himself forwards and slamming the man against the aisle. The wind was knocked out of him, but Kyungsoo was careful not to hurt him with the knife he set against his throat. Yet.   
  
“D-don’t move,” Kyungsoo internally cursed himself for stuttering, but went on, speaking in the most threatening voice he could muster in his low volume. “I have a knife. I  _will_  kill you.”  
  
“Whoa, okay there chief we have a knife wielder.” As if the sarcasm wasn’t evident enough, he had the audacity to raise his hand in mock surrender, complete with an eye roll. He then leaned down, absolute disregard for the blade pushed against his throat, to leave a dangerously seductive whisper against Kyungsoo’s jaw. “It’s great that you like stating the obvious, but you’re not the only one who’s come here armed.”   
  
Kyungsoo cursed himself again as he felt the heavy press of a gun against his stomach.  _Never fucking assume anything_. Kyungsoo felt like a complete fucking idiot. How did this kid manage to one up him? He wouldn’t have even been caught off guard if he wasn’t stupid enough to jump the gun. So to speak.   
  
“Shoot me then.”  
  
Kyungsoo needed to distract him while he thought of a way to get out of this situation, fast. And maybe use the man he was pressed up against as a shield against the biters. Kyungsoo winced at his own plan, he’d have to rethink that one. He’d rather not let anymore people die. Unless this man proved to be more difficult than he already is.   
  
“Kyungsoo.”  
  
He startled. He hadn’t heard his own name being whispered with such a sense of familiarity weaved into it in such a long time. He felt the gun retreat with the same reflection of wavering confidence in its owner’s face. Kyungsoo hesitated.   
  
He couldn’t just trust him though; he couldn’t let his guard down  _again_  just because someone from his past strategically looked at him with puppy eyes. At least, he thought it made for a good strategy. He was starting to doubt himself as the seconds passed.   
  
“Don’t ‘Kyungsoo’ me,” he muttered with a little more aggression.   
  
“Hey, whoa,” he finally began to show genuine panic, but still didn’t lift his gun back up. In the back of his mind, Kyungsoo knew his own threat was an empty one, and he was sure the other had that half-figured out as well. “I’m not going to hurt you, okay? I’m not the enemy here.”   
  
Kyungsoo stared so intensely into his eyes he felt his own prickle with the concentration. He didn’t waver either, staring back as if trying to silently obtain his approval. Kyungsoo relented with a sigh. His hands dropped to his side as he ignores the relieved breath let out by the other. He’s still got a strong handle on his weapon.  
  
“How do you even remember my name?”  
  
“I have a photographic memory, remember?” The man had a boyish grin on his face, his happiness a contradiction to how fucking screwed they were.  
  
He honestly  _didn't_  remember too much about Kim Jongin. He remembered a handsome boy, a little taller than him, a lot leaner than him, and almost never attending class. The last he saw of him, he was much, much younger. He had bleached blonde hair echoing every rebellious bone in his body and a smile brighter than a torch in a tunnel.  
  
Now standing before him is a replica of who used to be the dreamiest boy in high school.   
  
He couldn’t accurately determine how long it had been since the start of this entire mess, but judging from Jongin’s appearance it felt like  _years_  had passed since he fought off the dead. Jongin’s hair was longer and shaggier, back to a natural dark brown but nonetheless flattering his undeniable good looks. He was older, you could tell from the lines creasing his features, but you didn't need a closer look to see the boyish charm lingering beneath. What hadn’t changed at all is the little twinkle in his eyes. Familiar and warm.   
  
“It’s not like I remember you.” Jongin chuckled at his answer, seeing right through him. He  _had_  been startled by the fleeting nostalgia after all.   
  
“Well, I’d never forget a handsome face. Any kind of face really but, you know.” Jongin observed him, almost appraisingly with his eyes running down his frame. “You used to be really skinny.” It made Kyungsoo feel a little flattered at the implied compliment, but still uncomfortable nonetheless. Kyungsoo gave him an incredulous look. “I mean, you were hot then, but you’re… wow.”  
  
“And I see you’re still a pain in the ass.”  
  
“I thought you said you don’t remember me,” Jongin chuckled, shaking his head slightly in amusement. He looked like he was holding back from saying more, lest he gets punched in the nuts.   
  
He didn’t know why, but Kyungsoo felt the need to defend himself, “The world back then didn't require me to stay in shape. I guess smashing brains gave me a little lift.”  
  
Jongin raised an eyebrow, seemingly taken aback that Kyungsoo even answered, let alone sounding a little cocky. He couldn’t help it though, because despite everything – the aching loneliness, the continuous isolation – he was proud of what he’d achieved in this world. He was proud of how far he’d come. And if he’s got the muscles to prove it, why not show the fuck off?  
  
“Didn’t think you’d be the type to brag, Kyungsoo.”  
  
“Survival tip number one,” he leaned in conspiratorially, humouring himself with the way Jongin’s eyes widen, “Never assume anything.”  
  
Jongin smirked knowingly. This seemed to be an annoying habit of his, to smirk at whatever he found entertaining in Kyungsoo’s speech. “Oh but I can see right through your macho façade, Kyungsoo dear. I’m not assuming anything when I say that beneath all that manly man smell you’ve perfumed yourself with, you’re just lost. And alone.”  
  
“I’m not–!” Kyungsoo mentally beat himself up for rising up to the bait. He’d been doing that a lot, owing to his carelessness. He hasn’t had a rational thought in weeks. He blamed it on the lack of food. “I’m not alone.”  
  
“It’s a good thing then that I’m not alone either,” Jongin smiled, too warm and too comfortable for someone he had just met. They  _were_  practically still strangers.   
  
Kyungsoo didn’t know how to answer that. All he could hope was to get out of here as soon as possible, so he could go back to finding shelter in his solitude.   
  
He looked around to gather his surroundings once again, trying to erase Jongin’s smile from his mind. The exit he came in through was blocked for sure, and he wasn’t going to chance his way through an entire hoard of biters. He had noticed on his way inside that the other exit, the one from the back, was blocked from the outside. Barrelling his way through that would only inform more biters of where to look for fresh meat. That only left one way out.  
  
The roof.   
  
“What are the chances that we’d end up in a situation like this together?” Jongin seemed to find amusement in their predicament, but Kyungsoo was too wrapped up in figuring out how to access the roof to even care. It was not like he really knew how to respond to that anyway. Jongin seemed like the type to fill up any silence, while Kyungsoo really just needed to live in it. “It’s almost like it’s… fate or something.’  
  
Kyungsoo could usually handle the quiet, in fact he would graciously invite it, but this was just very awkward. He could hear Jongin’s little puffy breaths, as if he was still recovering from his earlier rush of adrenaline. He could almost smell Jongin, a musky scent fighting its way to the surface underneath the grime and blood scattered across Jongin’s body and clothes like a morbid piece of art. His very presence left goose bumps prickling along his skin, and he couldn’t believe how affected he was by someone he’d just met, and how deprived he’d been of human contact for the past few weeks.   
  
The moment they escape, Kyungsoo had already made up his mind to leave him and his mixed clump of emotions behind.  
  
“Are you just going to keep ignoring me? Really?”  
  
“Will you please shut up, I’m trying to figure out how to get out of the mess you put us in.”  
  
“’Sup.”  
  
Both Kyungsoo and Jongin looked towards the left, where a boy much younger than the two of them stood with his arms crossed, rifle slung over his shoulder. His features were set in a permanent resting bitch face, his sharp eyebrows and dark eyes only serving to intensify his blank glare.   
  
“Sehun,” Kyungsoo almost felt pinpricks of jealousy at the sound of comfort Jongin exhales as a greeting.   
  
Kyungsoo didn’t know how else to describe this new kid but as a character straight from a cartoon – or a friend he would have conjured up from his imagination in his childhood. He was tall and gangly – a caricature on his own – yet he could see how he’d be a reliable asset to Jongin with his broad shoulders and sturdy legs.  
  
“The coast is all clear, well, inside I mean,” Sehun grinned, stunning Kyungsoo. He didn’t realise this boy’s emotional range could exceed monotony. “Your boy here’s done a badass job of wiping out the roaches you knamsayin’.”  
  
“You’ll get used to how he speaks,” Jongin whispered to him, “he calls himself Meme King Sehun–“  
  
“–that’s trademarked, by the way–“  
  
“But he’s great. A real good shot with that gun of his,” Jongin winked. Kyungsoo felt uncomfortable with how casual he was being. But he knew he needed to remain by this mismatched pair if he wanted to get out of this alive.  
  
“Yeah well anyway, our best bet is through the roof,” Sehun had already retreated back to his bored stare. He was joking around one second and serious the next, and the changes were so sudden and unexpected that Kyungsoo wondered if this boy had a switch that would turn it on and off.  
  
“Kyungsoo already figured that out, right?” He felt annoyed at how easily Jongin seemed to crawl under his skin and finding a way to stay two steps ahead of his own plans before he even formulated them.  
  
“Alright well, we should get going then,” Sehun began leading them towards the back area of the warehouse, unfazed by Kyungsoo’s tense stature, “There’s some stairs up the back leading to the top. I don’t really know how roach-free the roof is though so keep your weapons poised lads.”   
  
Before Kyungsoo’s forehead could even mar with confusion, Jongin butted in, “He calls them roaches. Helps him take the humanity out of it.”  
  
“Thank you, Jongin, I really needed a Meme King Sehun-Dictionary.”   
  
“Hey, you called me Jongin!” Kyungsoo had to turn away from the genuine excitement displayed in his smile. He picked up his bat and slipped his knife back under his belt, giving him something else to focus his attention on.  
  
“Not as exciting as him calling me Meme King Sehun though,” Sehun turned around with a cheeky grin, “suck it bitch.”  
  
“Listen here, you spoiled piece of shit–” Jongin stopped when he noticed Kyungsoo surveying the store properly for the first time. He already knew what Kyungsoo might be looking for.   
  
“We have most of the edibles and the weapons back at home,” Jongin shrugged, “You’re welcome to look for anything useful but I really doubt you would find anything. We basically own this block of buildings; we’ve pretty much raided everything.”  
  
 _Home._  He has a home.   
  
“Then how come you’re back here?”  
  
Jongin smiled. “We needed to refuel.”  
  
Kyungsoo frowned as Sehun nodded from in front of them, coming to a stop in front of a door. Beside it, laid four large bottles of gasoline, some rope and a plastic bag full of batteries. “For my Nintendo DS,” Sehun explained.   
  
Sehun hauled two of the bottles, instructing Kyungsoo to do the same, while Jongin wrapped the bag and rope around his shoulders. Silently, Jongin was instructed to lead the trio up the stairs, to “take one for the team,” and cover for them. They began their ascension, the collective gnawing and grumbling becoming more faint as they went up higher. Kyungsoo made sure to barricade the door behind him, just in case.   
  
“When we got here, there were a few biters lurking behind some of the buildings. Wendy was jumped and the next thing you know she toppled a vehicle over and created a huge ruckus,” Jongin stated, as if Kyungsoo had asked.  
  
“We’re not saying blame Wendy but… blame Wendy.”  
  
“We got separated from the others. They tried to create a diversion from the other side so that we’d have a chance to sneak in here. They’d probably have made it back to the car by now,” he exchanged a look with Sehun, “at least, I hope they have.”  
  
“You have a car?” So much for feigning disinterest.   
  
But… a car.   
  
“We’ve got three fam,” Sehun grinned, “and in this world, I don’t even need a license to drive. Or a license to kill.”  
  
“Stop quoting movies, white boy,” Jongin stood at the top of the stairs, ready to open it up. He looked directly at Kyungsoo this time. Kyungsoo shuddered at the authority in Jongin’s eyes. “Stay alert and stand behind me. If there’s more than one, drop the bottles and back me up.”   
  
Sehun made a clicking noise in affirmation, and if his hands weren’t full, Kyungsoo imagined him to be pointing finger guns at Jongin. And this was the boy he was currently trusting his life with.   
  
Jongin leaned his head against the door, his hand clutching the handle. He knocked, once, twice. He softly gave a countdown in warning, and Kyungsoo felt the air thicken and freeze around them. The hairs on the back of his neck rose, and the muscles of his thighs tensed up.   
  
Jongin opened the door and stepped out into the light.   
  
Despite agreeing to let Jongin take the lead, Kyungsoo rushed in front of him and dropped his items, retrieving his bat from Jongin and gripping it tightly. The noises from before intensified tenfold now that they were out in the open, but he couldn’t tell if it was just the biters from below them, or if there were any up on the roof with them.   
  
“Kyungsoo, behind you!”  
  
Kyungsoo was quick to step forward and turn around to face the staggering decomposed body of a man, in a once bright blue work uniform, making its way towards him with one arm stretched out. The stench it emitted almost caused Kyungsoo to black out, but he paid it no heed, instead aiming his weapon straight for the hollowed, blackened face.  
  
He took a deep breath, calming his racing heart before swinging his bat straight at the biter’s skull. Blood and filth splattered across his own face as the body fell to the ground, the resounding thwack leaving an air of satisfaction behind. He slammed his bat against the head two more times before he was really assured that the squashed up mess of brains couldn’t get back up and bite him.   
  
Behind him, Sehun had pierced two biters with the tip of his rifle effortlessly, while Jongin had kept his eyes on Kyungsoo the entire time.   
  
“That was pretty awesome,” he smiled, not giving Kyungsoo a chance to catch his breath. “We should have just let you taken the lead.”  
  
“Why don’t you ever compliment me man?” Sehun grumbled with his entire body folded in faux exhaustion. He looked up at Kyungsoo. “No homo.”  
  
Kyungsoo rolled his eyes, a small smile playing on his lips. This didn’t go unnoticed by Jongin, of course it didn’t, but he also chose to not comment on it. Instead, he began updating the two of the situation on the ground.   
  
“So yeah, we’re sort of fucked.”  
  
The moment those words were out of his mouth, there was a loud explosion on their right. The three of them fell to the ground as the earth trembled beneath them, bringing their arms over their heads to protect them from the stray rubble shooting their way. Kyungsoo lifted his head to see a cloud of smoke already permeating the air above the adjacent building.   
  
“Holy shit! Go Wendy!”  
  
Sehun and Jongin laughed victoriously, exchanging high fives like children. Kyungsoo leaned over the railing to see the biters sway towards the burning building, some disappearing right into the fire. He exhaled in a mixture of relief and disbelief.   
  
“Ah, Wendy. The queen of ex machina.” Sehun sung out gleefully, tying the rope the ledge on the opposite side of the fire, and dropping it down. “As expected of Wendy. When will your faves?”  
  
“Weren’t you just shitting on Wendy five minutes ago?”  
  
“Look Jongin, haters come around,” he shrugged looking over at the ground below him. Kyungsoo couldn’t help the laugh that had escaped him. “Yo, our girl’s over there, she’s got the cars with her. Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up!”   
  
Jongin carefully tied two of the bottles around his waist, with the other two around Kyungsoo’s waist. Kyungsoo stopped breathing, not just because of the smoke closing in on them, but because of Jongin’s face being so close to his. He watched Jongin’s lashes flutter and his nose scrunching up, thinking that it was the most beautiful face of concentration he had ever seen.   
  
Jongin looked up at his eyes, and Kyungsoo couldn’t bring it in himself to look away. This was completely different to how he stared the other down back in the warehouse. Jongin frowned a little, reaching up to gently wipe the blood scattered on Kyungsoo’s face.   
  
“Hurry up!”  
  
Kyungsoo felt the heaviness of the bottles clinging to his body multiply with the heaviness he felt in his chest. He couldn’t get attached to more people. He needed to get away as soon as they were out of the danger zone.   
  
He knew that by tonight, this place will be swarmed by biters, and by tomorrow there might not be a warehouse to raid. The whole neighbourhood might burn down. But he was okay with that, so long as it took some of the undead with it.   
  
They scrambled down the rope hastily, Sehun keeping guard at the foot of it. Hidden clumsily behind a clump of shrubbery are two vehicles, and beside it, two people. They sprinted towards it, surprisingly not attracting any biters on the way.  
  
Kyungsoo was stunned when Sehun dropped a quick kiss on a girl’s lips (Wendy he guesses), before scrambling into the first car with her. Jongin only offered a cryptic smile. And Kyungsoo reprimanded himself for even bothering. He shouldn’t even be concerned by these people in the first place, let alone if they have their own loved ones.   
  
Another man, much older than all of them in appearance, popped silently into the driver’s seat of Sehun and Wendy’s vehicle before nodding to Jongin and starting the engine.   
  
“Come on,” Jongin grabbed his arm like he did in the warehouse, though with a lot less force, “You and I have a lot of catching up to do.”   
  
They hurriedly untied the bottles and put them in the back before climbing in the front. Kyungsoo looked at the driver’s seat enviously but didn’t speak up. Jongin smiled at him sheepishly as if to say, “Next time.”  
  
Jongin started to follow behind the other car at a steady pace. Before he even realised, Kyungsoo had dozed off into the most peaceful sleep he’d had in months.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
“You might not be as skinny as you used to be, but you still look like you haven’t eaten in weeks.” Kyungsoo’s stomach responded on his behalf, grumbling in affirmation and betraying him. Jongin smirked.   
  
For the past half hour that he had been awake (Kyungsoo had learned to tell the time from the setting sun), Jongin had been trying to convince him to stay with his group. Wordlessly, he had figured out that Kyungsoo was in fact travelling alone, and he was spending the remaining energy that wasn’t focused on driving, on finding ways to get Kyungsoo to agree.   
  
Jongin and his group were occupying an old school, he had stated. Kyungsoo couldn’t help but chuckle as Jongin spoke of the “state of the art security system” guarding them, the abundance of “recreational facilities” available, and his personal favourite, “the bus”.  
  
Kyungsoo had looked at him questioningly.   
  
“You’ll see what I mean,” Jongin said mischievously, fingers casually drumming against the wheel. “It’s my favourite spot in the entire school.”   
  
Kyungsoo nods. It was still awkward for him to carry a conversation with Jongin. It wasn’t like they were friends in high school.  
  
“But we did speak a few times,” Jongin muttered, sounding a little disappointed with Kyungsoo’s apathy. “You let me borrow your physics notes once. They were shit by the way.” Jongin outright laughed at Kyungsoo’s affronted look.   
  
“Why did you borrow them if you didn’t even need them?”  
  
“This is going to sound silly,” he laughed, one hand coming up to rub the back of his neck, “I may have admired you from afar back in the day.”   
  
Kyungsoo frowned, “Like what? A crush? I find that really hard to believe.”  
  
“Yeah, I know,” Jongin sighed, “I never really acted on it. Otherwise you would have been totally charmed by me, and we’d have lived through the apocalypse as the ultimate power couple.”   
  
“Yeah, no,” Kyungsoo scoffed, amused nonetheless. “I find that hard to believe as well.”  
  
Jongin simply smiled. Kyungsoo then continued, “And you said we’ve spoken a few times and yet, you only named one. You couldn’t have liked me from just one interaction. You never even came to class.”  
  
“Ah, so senpai did notice me,” Kyungsoo cringed but otherwise, didn’t interrupt. “I told you, I have a photographic memory. I didn’t really need to study to pass tests. They even bumped me up a year.”  
  
“Who’s bragging now,” Kyungsoo muttered disdainfully. Jongin momentarily lifted his hands off the wheel in a shrugging motion.  
  
“Hey, you asked. But anyway, I was also your Secret Santa in 2013.”  
  
“But, I didn’t get any presents from my Secret Santa in 2013.”  
  
“Yeah… My bad, sorry.”  
  
Kyungsoo shook his head in disbelief. He was once again confronted with a rush of fondness blooming in his chest. He couldn’t distinguish it from the pain he felt of possibly losing more people, which was contradictory to his yearning to be with people he could call his family. He felt like he had to jump out of the moving vehicle and get as far away as he can.   
  
He knew Jongin was good. Sehun was good. Wendy was good. He refused to be a part of something like that again, only for it to come crashing down.   
  
He promised himself that he’ll leave the moment he’s had his stomach filled and his head rested. He’ll leave the moment the sun rises.  
  
“We’re here.”  
  
Kyungsoo was stirred from his reverie by a gentle hand on his shoulder, a hand that left his skin scorching underneath his jacket. He ignored it in favour of looking forward towards the structure looming up in the distance in front of them.   
  
The school was undoubtedly a large one, encircling the grounds in its vicinity. The surrounding gates encasing the perimeter were layered with sheets of steel, and the sheets themselves covered in biter-muck, in what he assumed was a tactic to ensure they remain ‘invisible’ to any biters. The steel sheets were held up by large wooden pegs. Kyungsoo had no idea how anyone could have managed to erect that many outside while being exposed to biters.  
  
Jongin drove around him around the school so he could show Kyungsoo what he meant earlier about the safety of the building, and to give him a feel of the surrounding area. Another tactic, Kyungsoo realised, to get him to stay.   
  
As he drove them around, Kyungsoo can finally see what Jongin said regarding their assured security when entering the school.   
  
There were two main entrances, as well as a side entrance. Jongin pointed out that the side entrance was the one they’d be using, as the main entrances were lures for biters and other undesirables. The path they were on, was relatively biter-free.   
  
Kyungsoo couldn't take it anymore, the questions were itching his throat. “How did you cover up all the fences? And keep them standing?”  
  
Jongin smiled like he was acknowledging Kyungsoo’s understanding of the difficulty of such a task. Kyungsoo reluctantly admitted that it was one part cocky, one part attractive, and entirely annoying. “We had some help.”  
  
“Help?”  
  
“There’s a prison nearby,” he nodded vaguely in a direction. Kyungsoo looked passed the other’s shoulders, to the trees rapidly blurring by, as if he could somehow picture a prison behind the branches. “It’s occupied by another group of people. They’re fucking insane if you ask me. But...they agreed to help us out.”   
  
They drove by in silence till they were back on the path again behind the other car.   
  
“We made a makeshift watchtower, up on one of the tallest floors of the school,” Jongin leaned forward to look up, Kyungsoo mirroring his actions. “When we return from errands, we’ll light a flare so the person manning the watchtower knows we’re close. What they then do is, if they notice any biters near our entrance, they’ll shoot a firework away from it – we have a few stacks of hay we refill every once in a while near the front and back – so that any biters, if there are any, would be attracted to that instead.”   
  
He spotted the car in front of theirs rolling up their sunroof and a hand reaching out with a red flare. A few tense seconds passed by before a crack cut through the quiet air. The hand later discarded the dying flare and the sunroof rolled back up.   
  
This whole plan… sounded like a disaster waiting to happen. Kyungsoo didn’t say anything but he had serious doubts this plan was as fool-proof as Jongin seemed to think it was. Jongin sensed his discomfort. “I know what you’re thinking, and we’re super careful okay? We’ve carved out paths for biters to follow so they don’t stumble across this one, and even if they do, it’s always a small number of them. Besides, we’ve been doing this forever. T.C. will tell you it’s been close to 13 months.”  
  
“T.C.?” Kyungsoo still had his doubts.  
  
“The guy driving the other car. You’ll get introduced to him and the rest later,” he looked over at him. “Don’t worry your manly man head over it Kyungsoo, we’re safe.”  
  
Kyungsoo’s uneasiness may had minimised, but he still had a lot of questions buzzing in his head. The cars came close to the side entrance, where the gate was open and awaiting their entrance.   
  
But what drew his attention was a more gruesome sight. Kyungsoo gasped. Attached to two of the pegs near the entrance, were two mutilated biters, arms and jaws amputated. Blood and rotten bits of flesh dangled loosely from where their appendages had been cut. They stood swaying pathetically, stumbling to get to the cars but physically being unable to reach for it. Kyungsoo felt disgusted, but also an overwhelming gust of pity for the biters, which was strange for him.   
  
“I don’t like it either, but it does the job,” Jongin gritted his teeth in distaste. “They turn off other biters from sticking around. We ripped the idea off the prison gang. Told you they were fucking insane.”  
  
The gates shut behind them as they entered the vast expanse of the school yard. It was like… a completely different world. Kyungsoo’s jaw dropped as he caught sight of the school building, a duplicate of his own high school, standing tall against the backdrop of a neatly trimmed garden and a working water fountain. He could see the group’s watchtower, currently abandoned, standing proudly amidst the shorter structures. Kyungsoo was honestly amazed. While for the most part, the building was perfectly maintained, vines still creeping up its sides like poisonous green tendrils. If it weren’t for the steel fences encasing the school, he would have thought everything was back to how it used to be.  
  
Not far off, he could see a small cloud of smoke behind what he figured was the back entrance. The faint sounds of biters scrambling for purchase against the metal fences could be heard, even from where he stood. Kyungsoo eyed the entrance wearily.   
  
“Isn’t it funny how we meet in school again,” Jongin said quietly, knowingly. He parked the car next to two others, one of which Kyungsoo had already seen. Kyungsoo rolled his eyes, hopping out of the car and missing the, “I’m telling you, it’s fate.”  
  
Not far off, Kyungsoo noticed a yellow school bus, the school bus Jongin presumably found solace in. It didn't look like anything special, in fact it was covered in more moss and vines than the building itself. But it wasn’t exactly like he was looking to find out why Jongin was so attached to it. Or so he told himself.  
  
The school didn’t seem too extraordinary, but bathed in the warm rays of the setting sun, it looked enchanting.   
  
Jongin stood next to him, nudging him on the side. Kyungsoo hated how he acted like they were the closest of friends, but he let him get away with it. “Sehun and the rest are already inside. Come on, let me give you the royal tour.”   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
“And this, will be your room, should you choose to accept.”  
  
“Will you be self-destructing in five seconds?”  
  
Jongin laughed, “Ah! So he has a sense of humour!”  
  
“I didn’t live under a rock Jongin; I did have DVDs.”  
  
Sehun passed by them, distracted by his Nintendo. “DVDs… what a loser. Ever heard of Netflix?”   
  
They both ignored him as they stared at what used to be a classroom. The desks were pushed to a corner to make space for the mattresses laid out on the ground. It was dimly lit, the room illuminated by a single candle, given that electricity was a concept of the past. The shadows casted by the light clung eerily to the surface, inviting Kyungsoo to clamber into the darkness. Kyungsoo shivered, trying to ignore the dried stains of blood against the blackboard, the wall, the floor.   
  
“You don’t have to decide now,” Jongin lifted a hand, but brought it back to his side again, “But just know that at least here, you’ll be  _safe_.”  
  
Kyungsoo had a million thoughts swimming through his head. The thought of staying here, with people to take care of and look out for him, with actual food on a plate, with a pillow for his head. It was… tempting, to say the least. He wouldn’t have to hunt, he wouldn’t have to lose sleep over every slight sound he hears in the dark, and he knew there was a high chance that he wouldn’t lose anymore people from Jongin’s group if they stayed put.   
  
But Kyungsoo remembers the faces of everyone he has ever lost over the past… God knows how long. He remembers being with group after group, till it felt like he was rotating with different people until they’d end up dying or turning and he’d end up alone.   
  
“Think about it over dinner,” Jongin smiled, small and soft, like he wanted to shoulder Kyungsoo’s burden with him. Kyungsoo’s heart fluttered.   
  
 _It’s been a day Kyungsoo, get a fucking grip._  
  
 _How did Jongin go from being the potential enemy he nearly stabbed in the throat, to this?_  
  
Kyungsoo shook the thought out of his head.   
  
He was given the chance to shower first before he could meet the rest of the group. Jongin had handed him some of his own spare clothes, the smell of Jongin on them already dangerously familiar. Nevertheless, he graciously accepted.   
  
The spray of water was ice cold against his burning skin, and if this was before he knew there were corpses waiting outside to eat him, he would have leaped away. But this was now, and he hasn’t had a proper shower since the beginning of the end so he couldn’t care less.   
  
The droplets crawled along his skin, rolling down his limbs and slowly expelling the dirt that had been clinging onto him since the start. He scratched and scraped at every part of his body he could reach, trying to get as much filth off of him as he could.   
  
And they had  _soap_.   
  
Suddenly, he remembered what it was like to be normal again, with every glide of the bar against his arms and his legs and the ridges of his torso, he felt like he was rediscovering something that he had lost. Only when he looked down at the water swirling down the drain, did he realise just how squalid he had been all this time.   
  
But now, he felt clean. And fresh. And like a brand new person.   
  
And he smelled like coconuts.   
  
Jongin was waiting outside his ‘room’, beaming appreciatively as if he too was seeing Kyungsoo for the first time.

 

It turns out, dinner was beside a campfire.   
  
Jongin explains to him that in their tight-knit  _family_ , campfire dinners are a celebration of escaping near-death encounters. Kyungsoo doesn't really see what’s so celebratory in that. If it were up to him, he’d be rocking himself to sleep in the dark confines of his room.   
  
He clearly hasn’t been social in a very long time.   
  
While others in the group he had yet to be introduced to were setting up outside in the cool air (with the new firewood Wendy and T.C. had somehow found time to collect), Kyungsoo was led to meet their leader. She was situated in what was once the principle’s office. The irony.   
  
Hyojung had her back turned to him, jovially engaging in a conversation with someone else Kyungsoo didn’t recognise. Their leader was tall (much like everyone else in their group), bronzed skin glistening with a slightest sheen of perspiration, hair tied up and arms by her side, putting her broad shoulders on display. She turned to greet him and Jongin as they entered.   
  
“You must be Kyungsoo,” she smiled at him kindly, reaching out her hand to shake. Kyungsoo reciprocated immediately. Her dark eyes rivalled that of Sehun’s, and her upturned nose told him she meant business. She was equal parts gentle and scary. “I heard you kicked some serious ass today.”  
  
“Yes ma’am.”   
  
“So polite,” Hyojung pursed her lips, impressed. “Jongin and Sehun could learn a thing or two from you.”  
  
“With all due respect,” Kyungsoo started slowly, as if approaching a wild animal, “I’m not here to stay.” He felt Jongin shift from one foot to the other next to him, and he felt compelled to add, “for long.”  
  
Hyojung nods in understanding. “That’s a shame. We could use more hands around here. Lily here does her best to help me manage things but it is tough. It’s been awhile since we’ve settled down and I can say we’re as safe as they get. There’s no electricity but there’s clean water as you may already know,” She paused, hesitant to continue but doing so nonetheless, “and there’s a number of children we need to provide for. Food, education, basic survival skills…” she trailed off, eyeing his every expression sharply. Her own expression read,  _how can anyone be selfish enough to say no to kids?_  
  
“I’ll think about it,” Kyungsoo maintained. He was starting to feel a little claustrophobic in the spacious room, and he looked at Jongin to indicate his desire to leave. Jongin smiled, then nodded for him to speak. “It’s nice meeting you.” Kyungsoo bowed at both her, and to the other lady behind her.   
  
“We’ll be right behind you two.” She nods towards the door, effectively dismissing them.  
  
Kyungsoo sighs at least thrice in the time it takes for Jongin to lead him to where the campfire was set up. Jongin was being awfully quiet too. Kyungsoo could only guess that he was just respecting his privacy and allowing him to think. For once.   
  
The fire is already well lit by the time they reach it, Jongin soundlessly ushering Kyungsoo to sit next to him. Kyungsoo feels toasty, being so close to an open fire, every nerve in his body became lax. He didn’t realise how tired he’s been, running around for weeks without the chance of resting, till he feels his eyes become droopy as he watches the flames dancing in the night air.   
  
He is handed his own empty plate, the object feeling foreign in his hands. A platter of assorted meats is passed around, Kyungsoo picking up a few pieces unsurely. Wendy sits next to him, encouraging him with a sweet smile.  
  
“We weren’t properly introduced,” she starts thrusting out her left hand. “Wendy.”  
  
“Kyungsoo,” he shakes it unsurely, also with his left hand.   
  
“Wendy is left-handed,” Jongin begins. “She thinks that just because it’s the apocalypse, she can change the world order to suit lefties.”   
  
Kyungsoo was dumbfounded. Was everyone in this group an oddball?   
  
He tentatively took a bite from his food, closing his eyes in pure ecstasy as he munches more aggressively. His entire being was filled with the satisfaction of extinguishing his starved appetite. He eats like he’s tasting food for the first time, practically inhaling it. His stomach rumbled in approval.   
  
“Yo okay,” Sehun starts, and Kyungsoo already knows he is about to say something bizarre. “You see my man T.C. over there?” He used his food as a pointer to indicate to the man in question, who was silently biting into a carrot and eyeing Sehun wearily. Sehun looks directly at Kyungsoo, “you know why we call him T.C.? It's short for – wait for it – The Compass.”   
  
Kyungsoo wasn’t sure if he was joking around since everyone seemed to be amused by default whenever Sehun spoke. “Is he… for real?” he directs his question to Jongin. He nods, faking solemnity.   
  
“Dude, bro, like you don’t understand,” Sehun gushes. “It’s like the man has a magnetic field  _built into him_. He’s our top priority by the way, since we need to take him out whenever we go. He’s also been keeping track of the time since the start.”   
  
Kyungsoo perks up at this.   
  
“Yep, it’ll be 19 months next week, at least according to the man over there.”  
  
 _19 months._  That’s almost… two years since he’s starting losing everything.   
  
“That’s right, 19 months since shit hit the fan,” Hyojung enters their circle, taking the empty seat beside Sehun. Beside her sat two older men and a woman, introduced to him as Jiyong, Eric and Sooyoung. Kyungsoo recognises Sooyoung as the woman who opened the gate for them earlier in the evening.   
  
“Dude hasn’t spoken a word since he joined us though, just uses vague gestures. He’s either mute or the strong, silent brooding type.”  
  
Kyungsoo eyes T.C. licking his fingers, similar to a child. He then remembers something else that was mentioned.   
  
“You said there were kids?” Kyungsoo directs the question to Hyojung.  
  
“They’ve had their dinner early. They’d be fast asleep now.”  
  
“Are they… any of yours?” Kyungsoo knows he is toeing the boundaries with his questions. He’s still a stranger here.   
  
“No.” The air is infused with a lingering sadness, “they were hiding out in some of the classrooms when we got here. It was… not pretty.”  
  
It was a good thing Kyungsoo was already done with his dinner, otherwise he wouldn’t have found the appetite to finish.   
  
“I miss cheese toasties,” Sehun says randomly as he picks at the bones on his plate disdainfully.   
  
“I don’t even remember what cheese tastes like, to be honest. Or toast,” Eric replies, still chowing down on his food.   
  
Sehun hums before looking directly at Kyungsoo with a new found light in his eyes. “Kanye was a roach.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Kanye West.”  
  
“I’m– not sure what you mean,” Kyungsoo looked around to see the same amused smiles on everyone’s faces.   
  
“We were on the road, myself and my brother – rest his soul – and we stopped by a gas station for food and supplies as you do,” Sehun had everyone captivated with his storytelling. “And what do you know! Out comes Yeezy! I couldn’t believe my eyes!”   
  
“And he was… a biter?”  
  
“Yep,” he smirks, popping the ‘p’ and leaning back cockily, “and guess which motherfucker killed him?”   
  
“Your brother?” Wendy suggests.   
  
“He always welcomes people with this story.” Hyojung speaks to Kyungsoo, ignoring the whining come from next to her with an affectionate smile and a roll of her eyes. Kyungsoo felt his chest stagger at the word ‘welcome’, as if he was already a part of their group, as if he had just been accepted into their family so seamlessly.   
  
Apparently Jongin was also good at decrypting even the most minute of expressions from him, giving him an understanding smile. Kyungsoo instead looked back at Sehun as he continued the retelling of his ridiculous adventures.   
  
“I can only hope Beyoncé is still alive.”  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
“Let me show you my happy place.”  
  
Sehun wolf whistles as Jongin ushers him out of the circle. He sees Wendy and Hyojung nudge him in the ribs from either side. Kyungsoo and Jongin walk away hastily to the irritated chastising of “keep that shit down Oh Sehun, you’re going to wake the dead.”  
  
Jongin led the way to the bus, moving further and further away from the comforting flames of the campfire. He stops beside it and grins boyishly down at Kyungsoo.   
  
“You ready?”  
  
“As I’ll ever be, I suppose.”  
  
Jongin began climbing the wooden ledges that had been messily attached to the side of the bus. Kyungsoo hadn’t noticed this before. Kyungsoo also tried his hardest not to watch Jongin climb from his angle, as he continuously put on foot above the other and reached the top.   
  
Kyungsoo,  _it’s only been a day_.   
  
Kyungsoo shakes it off and climbs his way up the ladder after him, Jongin reaching out a helpful hand to haul him up. What greeted him above, simply amazed him.   
  
The bus was high enough that you could see beyond the gates, even as far as the horizon. Kyungsoo spotted one of the aforementioned stacks of hay burning still, the small fire gathering biters as they lethargically walked around it, some even into it. From up here, the moonlight left the entire school yard on display, illuminating every inch it could reach and leaving few shadows behind. He felt both exposed and hidden. There were a few blankets on top of the roof of the bus, and Jongin hands a thick one over to him, which he gratefully accepted.   
  
He sat on the edge with Jongin, letting his feet dangle in the air. In the distance, he could hear the soft murmurs of a dying conversation from where they came from. He looked up at the watchtower, making out a feminine figure. Probably Lily, unless they had more in their team.   
  
Kyungsoo felt… relaxed. He could see why Jongin treats this spot as his personal sanctuary. Up here, he felt like he had a sense of control over himself, like he was flying instead of falling.   
  
“I haven’t really given much thought to how I’d die but, I never expected it to be in a world like this.”   
  
Kyungsoo side-eyed him quietly, giving no confirmation that he was his audience. Jongin continued anyway. “You don’t want to die. You and I both know that. If you wanted to die, you’d be dead by now.” The whole day he had spent with him, Kyungsoo hadn’t seen him like this. Jongin seemed simultaneously upset and unfazed by the topic of conversation. He was coded with emotions Kyungsoo could not fully decipher. “And death is coming whether you’re beside it or not. So don’t act like you  _want_  it.”  
  
Kyungsoo thought he’d get angry at those words but he was surprised to find himself succumbing to a sense of resignation. If Jongin had told him this when they had first met, he would have been livid, but after the day’s events, after meeting people he could grow to love for the first time in a long time, all Kyungsoo feels is acceptance and peace. But not without a fight.   
  
“I don’t want to get attached to people I’m eventually going to lose.”  
  
“That’s… I’m sorry, but do you hear yourself?” Jongin tried his best not to raise his voice. He looks at Kyungsoo before calming down again, as if he can see for himself, the shift in Kyungsoo’s resolution. He sighs. “You and I both know that’s bullshit at this point. Look at you, you’re already so different from the man who had me pushed up against aisles of spam.”  
  
“Canned fruit,” Kyungsoo muttered, still holding a grudge against him for interrupting his meal.   
  
“Just,” he sighs again, “give us a chance won’t you?”  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Kyungsoo has begun counting the days.  
  
It’s been 46 days since he’s decided to stay with Jongin’s group. He doesn’t follow T.C.’s hypothetically accurate calendar. He feels like his life hadn’t started till he agreed to a fresh beginning at the school.   
  
By the third day of his reluctant stay, Hyojung assigns him to train the children on how to survive the wild. Jongin disagrees with the premise of it, stating that they have more security than the prison. But Kyungsoo knows never to assume anything, so he’s unreservedly agreed to teach the five young survivors what he’s learned from his time alone.   
  
Jongin introduces Kyungsoo to the children, their ages ranging from seven to twelve. Kyungsoo’s attention is immediately drawn to the youngest, Taeyong, and his protective older brother Taemin. Their bond reminded him of the one he shared with his brother, and the one he sees between Jongin and Sehun. Taemin always had at least one arm framing his brother’s shoulders at all times. Kyungsoo feels pins pricking in his chest at the sight.   
  
The rest of the children were girls, Kayla, Yerim and Binnie. With tough skin and thick skulls, Kyungsoo is honestly both impressed and a little terrified by how eager they are to kick ass. He figures that they adopted these traits from Hyojung and Lily, never taking no for an answer, and stepping up to the plate no matter the task.   
  
Kyungsoo felt his heart pang for them all. He realises that he’ll be okay taking on this hellhole, but these kids will never get the chance to live their childhood like he has. And in a couple of years, they won’t even remember what the world used to look like without the dead crawling all over it. They act like adults, even Taeyong, and Kyungsoo has to force his pity to the back of his mind before he begins teaching them.  
  
Their favourite lesson, it turns out, is weapons. Kyungsoo isn’t sure at first about letting them handle knifes – he figured, from experience, that defence would be the best way for them to survive. He can’t stand the thought of them even being close to a biter. He teaches them anyway.   
  
“If you see a biter,” they listen to Kyungsoo attentively, “you run and hide.”  
  
They’re kids, but they don’t act like kids.   
  
Sometimes though, Kyungsoo sees them fighting over the same knife, playing tag, making up stories about the ‘monsters’ beyond the wall and he’s reminded of just how young they are. And how much they’ve already seen, trapped in the school for months before Hyojung swept in.  
  
Jongin usually watches his sessions if he is free, sometimes accompanied by Sehun, who just interjects his lessons with useless comments like, “do it for the vine!” when Taeyong almost stabs his brother.   
  
Yerim, the youngest, has taken to following Kyungsoo around. He isn’t sure how he is supposed to feel about it, he was never the older brother type, but it was entertaining seeing Jongin get jealous over being treated as the second favourite big brother.   
  
“I’m going to protect you!” She usually exclaims with determination, ever ready to protect her new “handsome brother” and “marry you when I’m older.” It’s a little cliché, but he was overwhelmed still. She would usually cling on to his hand, or his arm, or his leg, whichever she could reach. Binnie and Kayla had long since given up vying for his attention, instead staying loyal to Jongin.   
  
Sehun pretends he isn’t affected at all by the lack of attention, but he’s really the biggest kid.   
  
The children, although mature, ground Kyungsoo to a world where there is still a semblance of normalcy left. Kyungsoo feels his heart grow bigger to make room for them, one by one.   
  
The days go by and Jongin insists on running errands without Kyungsoo, maintaining that Kyungsoo has been out alone, for far too long. Jongin always pulls the Kyungsoo-deserves-to-stay-in-for-a-change card. Sehun just calls them “domestic as fuck.”  
  
Though sometimes they do go out together, go for rides in the same black Chevy Jongin brought him in with. As promised, Kyungsoo is given his long-awaited chance to sit behind the wheel.  
  
Being able to drive again made Kyungsoo realise how much freedom he could find in smaller things he’d previously taken for granted. There was a peculiar surge of power he felt with the wind rushing through his hair, and moving forward without the sun constantly beating his back or looking behind his shoulder every other second. It felt even better with Jongin by his side.   
  
They would pass by the occasional biter, its mangled body turning their way to fruitlessly follow them. Kyungsoo hasn't killed any biters since he’s stayed with them but, there was a different rush to speeding passed one without having to blow its brains out.   
  
Kyungsoo loves the drives. He’s started to love being in the school as well, but despite the large grounds, he still feels trapped. He wasn’t used to being in one place for so long, and Jongin understands that. More than anything, Kyungsoo loves spending time with Jongin on these drives. Kyungsoo doesn't think of them as ‘dates’ per say, but he knows what he’s felt for Jongin that first day has only grown, an incessant beating against his chest.   
  
He isn’t stupid enough not to not know that Jongin feels the same way, though he does try to squash the thought of him getting too close.   
  
He’d become more and more fond of Jongin as the days go by. And Jongin had proven to be more than just a ghost from his past, but a companion he could count on in the present.  
  
Jongin skirts around him every possible chance he could get. He had his own chores to do at the school (going on supply runs, hunting, sewing – Kyungsoo was surprised to find out he was in charge of patching up their clothes), and yet he would always spare some time to hang around Kyungsoo, to pester him and tease him about their high school days. Kyungsoo honestly thinks some of the things Jongin comes up with are fabricated, but he decides to humour him anyway.  
  
“October 2016, I remember clear as day,” Jongin begins. Kyungsoo is already rolling his eyes. “Didn’t you write Shrek fanfiction and post it on the school’s official website?”  
  
Kyungsoo stops what he’s doing and looks at him in disbelief. There was no way he could remember that. “That was just senior prank, Jongin.”  
  
His knows his prank wasn’t even the most iconic one of that year. He furrowed his brows, trying to remember what prank it actually was that nearly had the entire school on lockdown. He gave up, setting his sights back to the task at hand: washing the dishes.  
  
Jongin raised his eyebrows. “Why don’t you fool around like that now?” He almost whined. “Man, if Sehun knew you liked Shrek…” he paused. “I thought it was very good by the way. Very well written. Ten out of ten for characterisation.”  
  
“I don’t even remember what I wrote,” Kyungsoo mutters, disgruntled.   
  
“I can recite it for you,” Jongin offers. He clears his throat when he doesn’t get a response. “ _Swamp of Dreams_ , by Do Kyung–“  
  
Kyungsoo shuts him up by shoving the wet dishcloth in his open mouth.   
  
By the nineteenth day, Jongin got him to drive the both of them down a new route towards the edge of the forest, a few miles away from the school. It was far enough that Kyungsoo couldn’t see the building any longer, but close enough for them to have made it by foot.   
  
Jongin got out of the vehicle, and motioned for Kyungsoo to do the same. They were both armed of course; Kyungsoo listlessly holding on to his bat while Jongin’s handgun was safely nestled in his belt.   
  
They were quiet as they walked deeper into the forest, following a steep, narrow path. They were both light on their feet, moving with the light breeze and barely crunching any twigs under their feet. Jongin was leading him, and by now, Kyungsoo didn’t hesitate to follow.   
  
Kyungsoo’s ears pricked, having picked up on the gush of running water. Jongin turned around to smile at him widely, momentarily mesmerising him in the same way the tinkling sound of the water flowing down the rocks did.   
  
They stepped out into a clearing.   
  
Kyungsoo’s jaw slackened at the sight before him. They were surrounded by low hanging branches of pale green leaves, swaying lazily with the breeze. The sun rays filtered through the trees, reflecting its light on the small spring that sat in the centre. It was the kind of place one would miss if they weren't looking for it, shielded behind rows and row of green. The water, clear and cool, beckoned to them enticingly. It was as if here, time crept by at a different pace. He didn’t think he could ever stop to admire a sight like this again.  
  
“If something  _does_  happen to the school, this is our rendezvous point,” Jongin interrupts his awe-struck daze. “If something goes wrong, you come here, okay?”  
  
A soft snap stops Kyungsoo from responding, garnering his and Jongin’s attention to their left. Hidden just outside the clearing, stands a girl with her back to them. There was no groaning or grumbling coming from her, so Kyungsoo assumes they’re human.  
  
But,  _never assume anything._  
  
Kyungsoo raises his bat, steadying himself so he could rush forward and strike but Jongin throws his arm across to stop him. When he gives the other a confused look, the only response he receives is a wordless motion of his hands, gesturing that Kyungsoo should just stay put and observe.   
  
He begrudgingly listens, still keeping the bat close to his side. They both watch as the girl, a living, breathing girl, mutilates the tree. It’s strange to see a young girl all by herself in the middle of the forest. Sure, they hadn’t come across a lot of biters in this area, but they couldn’t just leave her alone. They slowly creep in on her, trying not to alert her.   
  
Before they could reach her, she finally realised that she wasn’t alone. She turned around to regard them with a look of horror before taking off in a sprint, disappearing deeper into the forest before either of them could react, let alone stop her.   
  
He almost ran after her, but instead stepped closer to the tree to look at her handiwork. His eyes widen when he recognised the letters.  
  
 **J S S**    
  
Kyungsoo felt the carving into the tree, the inscription rough against the pads of his fingers. The girl had pierced it deep enough that Kyungsoo could feel a little bit of cool moisture seeping through. He is taken back to the day he locked himself in the car, when he was at the brink of giving up. He had seen the same three letters back then. But he hadn’t known what it meant. He still didn’t know, but… he was struck by a sense of achievement at having kept his promise. To live for her.   
  
 _The girl._  
  
The person who had left their mark behind on the car, and now the tree… they were still alive. Kyungsoo laughs happily, relief he exhales for the girl, and for himself, making him feel giddy. He owed it to her; he doesn’t know if he’d be here where he was if he hadn’t seen that first message.   
  
And there was something about seeing her being alive that ignited a stronger sense of hope in him.   
  
Jongin brings him back here occasionally, so that Kyungsoo can listen to the pleasing trickle of the spring and appreciate the markings against the tree. He comes back so he can sit by Jongin’s side and enjoy the stillness of the air around them, almost as if life had hit the pause button for them.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
They’ve been engaging in what could only be described as ‘pillow talk’ over the past weeks. Reminiscing about their shared past, deeply discussing their future under the starlight, tangling their legs while talking about their dreams.   
  
Kyungsoo was surprised with how he managed to stay composed while telling Jongin stories about him and his brother, from before the apocalypse. Of the yearly family camping trips to places like the clearing in the forest Jongin introduced him to, of how they always bickered over the most trivial things, of how he was reminded of him every time he looked at Taemin, or Sehun.  
  
He doesn’t shed a tear when he tells Jongin about how he saw his brother get his body torn apart by decaying teeth right in front of him, while he was given the chance to run. His brother had been the last member of his family to have survived with him. And then he was on his own for the first time.   
  
Jongin was an amazing listener. He listened to him like he was drinking in every word that was being said, committing it to memory. Not just what Kyungsoo was saying but his breaths, his pauses, his gestures. He would interject with comments at the right time, often aiming to make Kyungsoo laugh, or even smile.   
  
Never has he attempted to dive in to claim Kyungsoo’s lips, but he looks at him with so much longing that it seems to pain him to be keeping this much space between them. Kyungsoo is grateful that he is giving him time till he’s ready to close the distance.   
  
But that’s just one step he’s still afraid to take.   
  
It seems like Jongin is almost always by his side, and Kyungsoo would fight a hundred biters to keep him there.   
  
“You don’t trust me, do you?”  
  
Kyungsoo looked up at him uncertainly, only to have Jongin avert his eyes. Kyungsoo sighed. “I trust you. I trust all of you guys with my life Jongin, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. I wouldn’t have stayed this long if I didn’t.” Jongin continued playing with his own fingers, forehead marred with frown lines as if Kyungsoo hadn’t yet answered his question. “But that’s not what you’re asking for, is it?”  
  
Jongin exhaled in response.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
On the 43rd night, Kyungsoo leant back on his hands and stared at the sky. The stars scattered across its vast expanse mirrored all the thoughts dusting his head. He sighed. Maybe it’s time he stopped running.   
  
He looked at Jongin, finding the man already looking back at him with the same intensity as he always had in his eyes. The atmosphere was thick, the air between them static, turning breathing into a chore for him. Jongin smiles softly, gently, and Kyungsoo thinks he is much more mesmerising than the view he gets sitting on top of the bus, or kneeling beside the spring, or driving along empty roads.  
  
Kyungsoo leans in first, bringing his hand to gently cup the side of Jongin’s face before slowly connecting their lips. The kiss was barely there, but overwhelming at the same time. Kyungsoo wanted to pull away and push for more, and Jongin senses that he couldn’t make the decision on his own.   
  
He pushes Kyungsoo down by his shoulders, a surprised “oof!” leaving his lips as the wind is knocked out of him. He’s oddly reminded of the time Jongin found him in the warehouse, but all coherency was lost when he was straddled by the other, his groan swallowed by Jongin’s mouth.   
  
Jongin kisses Kyungsoo hard against the surface of the bus, the grip on his shoulders firm enough that he’s sure to wake up to sizable handprints stamped on his skin by tomorrow. He kisses him with a hunger that can’t be satiated no matter how much of Kyungsoo he tastes. It’s like he can’t get enough of Kyungsoo, and Kyungsoo’s lips, and Kyungsoo’s skin and every bit of Kyungsoo he can get his hands and lips on.  
  
He doesn’t slow down. Jongin’s hands roam down his torso, pressing him harder against the rough surface while Kyungsoo’s own hands scramble clumsily to tug on the other’s hair. His lips move feverishly, Kyungsoo rushing to keep up with his rough pace. It was delicious, this feeling of being so wanted, having someone so close to him that he doesn’t know where he ends and Jongin begins.   
  
Jongin pushes and pushes, hard enough to let the desperation seep through each searing touch.  
  
Jongin slowed to a near stop, making Kyungsoo whine against him in protest. He smirked naughtily, remaining close enough that Kyungsoo could still feel his hot breath against his mouth.  _What a tease._    
  
Kyungsoo felt cold and warm all at the same time, a stirring at the pit of his stomach beginning to ache almost painfully.   
  
He dived in again, this time leaving little, affectionate pecks all over his mouth, his nose, his cheeks, before pulling at his bottom lip with his teeth. Kyungsoo is embarrassed by the sounds that leave him, but he couldn’t give a single fuck at this point. He was just  _gone_.   
  
“God, I want you.”  
  
Before he could even keep up with their pace, they were both stripped, baring themselves for each other, as Jongin smiles down at him like he’s the one thing that makes sense to him in this fucked up world. Like Kyungsoo himself is the cure for the end of mankind.   
  
It is probably the worst place to do this, on the roof of the bus with blankets underneath and over them, with the sounds of the undead just metres from where they lay and without any lubricant other than Jongin’s saliva.   
  
But under the light of the stars, Jongin looks completely hypnotising, and Kyungsoo wonders why he’s waited this long to give in to him.   
  
“Don't be too loud,” Jongin breathes, lightly biting the side of his neck as if to challenge Kyungsoo to go against his words, “we don’t want to attract biters do we? Or Sehun.”  
  
Kyungsoo laughs airlessly, his grip on Jongin’s biceps tightening. Trust Jongin to find a way to ruin the mood. “Is this your idea of dirty talk? Why would you, ah– mention  _Sehun_  when we’re fucking?”   
  
Kyungsoo’s hushed moans are met by the groans of stray biters outside their wall, and despite how intense this was for the both of them, they couldn’t let go of the hilarity of the situation.   
  
Jongin kisses his forehead as Kyungsoo continues to laugh. “This has got to be the both the most  _and_  least romantic moment of my life.”  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Jongin lies down beside a blissed out Kyungsoo, both content with catching their breaths at their own pace. Kyungsoo feels happier than he has felt in a long time. For the first time, he finds himself thinking about now; not the past, not the future, but right now, in Jongin’s arms.   
  
“You tired?”  
  
“Why? Are you already up for round two?” Jongin looks at him incredulously.   
  
Kyungsoo snorts, “I would honestly love to, but not up here, please. My back is killing me. I don’t even want to move right now.”  
  
Jongin plays with his fingers mindlessly, sending shivers that had nothing to do with the breeze crawling down Kyungsoo’s spine. “Was that your first time?”  
  
Kyungsoo raises his eyebrow at him, only to be met with Jongin’s genuine puppy eyes. “No, sorry. Baekhyun was my first.”  
  
“Baekhyun? Byun Baekhyun? No way, I never would have guessed.”   
  
“You remember Baekhyun?” Kyungsoo is still amazed by how much Jongin can store in his mind. He himself sees only slivers of what Baekhyun was like. Cat-like grin, dainty hands… that’s about it.   
  
“Photographic memory. Why do you  _still_  doubt me?”  
  
Kyungsoo hums, “Whatever. What about your first time?”  
  
“Um…”  
  
Kyungsoo almost sits up at Jongin’s hesitation. Kim Jongin, high school heartthrob, a virgin?  
  
“I’m kidding. I had a thing with this college girl once, Song Qian. She was foreign. And pretty.” Kyungsoo huffed, and Jongin laughed. “Yeah okay, not as good looking as you, manly man Kyungsoo.”   
  
“Do you know what happened to her?”  
  
Jongin shrugs. He plays a mindless game of thumb war with Kyungsoo’s limp thumb. “What about Baekhyun?”  
  
“He… turned.” Kyungsoo shudders. One of his biggest regrets was pushing Baekhyun’s lively face to the back of his memories, while the biter version of him resided in the forefront of his mind. “He woke up, right in front of me and I… didn’t know what to do. He almost got me, too. He was the first I ever killed.”   
  
“Baekhyun’s one lucky man, to think he’s taken two of your first times,” Jongin jokes, but kisses his temple right after. “I’m sorry about what happened.”  
  
Kyungsoo smiles, shaking his head. He’s learned to accept death as a consequence of this world. He’s just going to have to fight it for as long as he can.  
  
They doze off together that way, securely tangled in each other. They sleep in each other’s arms with a comfort and familiarity that has seemingly always lingered between them, even before tonight.  
  
“So I heard you two fuck on top of the bus.” Sehun casually wakes them from the foot of the bus, a steaming mug of hot cocoa in his hands. The sun is still peaking through the horizon, notifying them that they shouldn’t have to deal with Sehun for a good two hours at least.  
  
“Goddammit Sehun,” Jongin mutters, genuinely annoyed. Jongin and Kyungsoo are both fully awake now, and irritated at the interruption.   
  
“Does this mean Kyungsoo is gonna stay?” Sehun pays no heed. Kyungsoo furrowed his brows at him. “Oh please, pretty much everyone in this group knew about your existential crisis.”  
  
“I decided to stay ages ago, get with the times man.”  
  
“Much rude.”  
  
“Sehun, stop talking like that. Memes died when the internet died.” Jongin said, like he was explaining it for the thousandth time.   
  
“Why do you always have to do that?” Sehun scoffs unattractively as he finally began to walk away with all the sass he could muster, muttering what sounds suspiciously like, “Harambe wouldn’t treat me this way.”  
  
“What’s a Harambe?” Kyungsoo questions quietly so as to remain respectful, just in case it’s a group ritual he doesn’t know of.   
  
“Fuck if I know,” Jongin shook his head, in what seemed like second-hand embarrassment. He smiled then, at nothing in particular but nearly blindsiding Kyungsoo with its brightness. “He’s so strange. So is everyone else here if I’m being real. I mean, take me for an example. You said so yourself, I’m ‘still a pain in the ass’.” Kyungsoo felt guilty enough to try disputing this, but Jongin just continued on, “well, a different pain in the ass now, anyway”.  
  
Kyungsoo tit-punches him. Jongin pretends it doesn’t hurt, subtly rubbing his pecs.   
  
“I’m fucking you next time,” Kyungsoo mumbles, disgruntled. He receives a comforting peck on the cheek instead.   
  
Jongin breaks the silence once again. “Everyone here is special, in their own weird way but… I love them. I love them all so much and I…” he paused to look down at his toes. Kyungsoo kept his gaze on Jongin’s side profile, admiring the marks he’d left against sharp edge of his jaw.   
  
“I want to love you in the same way.”  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Kyungsoo leant against the black Chevy, arms crossed, watching in disdain as Jongin packed his things. Jongin, T.C. and Jiyong were to find more firewood and fuel before the group ran out. Which was, in Kyungsoo’s opinion, redundant since they already had so much in storage up in the watchtower. The town Kyungsoo had met Jongin in had completely burnt out in supplies, so the one they frequented now was a little further north.   
  
“I told you, I’ll be back before it gets dark.”   
  
He grips the back of Jongin’s neck and pulls him down for a searing kiss. Kyungsoo hated being held back while Jongin went on runs, but he bit back a retort to wish him a safe trip.   
  
“I’ll see you soon.” Kyungsoo kisses him one more time, ignoring the catcalls from surprisingly, not just Sehun.  
  
He watches Jongin and the others pull out of the driveway, with Jongin blowing him a quick kiss before disappearing down the empty tracks. Kyungsoo, as usual, pretends to be disgusted.  
  
He tries to make himself useful while Jongin returns, reading an old book from the library on top of the bus (half-reading, half-watching the road, though he’s not going to admit that), teaching the kids how to maneuver their knives (though Binnie seems to have taken a liking to spears, instead) and even helping Eric and Sooyoung with the garden.   
  
He felt utterly restless and he could never find something to get his mind off Jongin when he wasn’t by his side. T.C. and Jiyong too, for that matter. Everyone here was his family now. And he was worried sick every time they’d leave without him.   
  
He stops by Sehun’s room in the evening, finding the boy reading a comic on his bed.  
  
“Hey Meme King,” Kyungsoo smirks before stepping inside Sehun’s room, shoving the other’s long legs aside and making space for him.   
  
“Sup’ douche,” Sehun barely looks up from his comic, lethargic legs coming back up and onto Kyungsoo's lap.  
  
He was afraid of getting close to Sehun as well, once upon a time. He’d always felt a rush of something akin to brotherly love rush through him as he watched Sehun and Jongin exchange playful banter. But now, engaging in the same playful banter with him felt natural.   
  
Before he could even retort mindlessly to his insults, a loud crackle resonated through the air, succeeded by a thunderous quake beneath their feet. Sehun and Kyungsoo looked at each other in a moment of terror and recognition.   
  
The next second was filled with an eerie silence. Soon enough, shrill screams resounded from the school’s yard and a sense of dread hung heavy in the pit of his stomach.   
  
Kyungsoo stands still with the blood rushing to his ears and his heart beating too fast and too loud. His vision blurs momentarily, intensified by the panic rising up to his throat. He couldn't breathe.   
  
Sehun was quick on his feet. He shoves his rifle urgently towards Kyungsoo.   
  
“Take the kids and go,” Sehun stops in front of a panicky Kyungsoo and gently cups his face. “Listen, I’m sure Jongin is fine, okay? But we need to get out. Just get the kids out of here and take them to the meeting point. I’ll meet you there.”  
  
Kyungsoo nods, fumbling with the rifle before breaking out into a run.   
  
The moment he lands on the yard, the first thing he sees is nothing. His eyes burn from all the smoke around him, suffocating him in its embrace. He keeps the rifle aimed at whatever that is going to break through the putrid veil. He looks up to see the watchtower and… there’s no watchtower. It’s broken up completely, whatever foundation left covered in soot.  
  
There’s a fire. It’s burning through most of the wooden pegs and with the watch tower having fallen on the fence, it’s been made easy for the flames to spread inside the school. Bringing with it, an attraction for every biter in the vicinity.   
  
By the time he goes into the kid’s rooms, they have already been emptied.   
  
He hears the low growl coming from his left, and sure enough a biter appears in his line of vision. Kyungsoo drives the end of the rifle through its eye, stopping it in its tracks. He didn’t want to shoot it and create more noise. The last thing he needed was for more biters to be aware of where he was.   
  
But it seemed futile in his part. The next thing he knew, he saw at least a dozen more biters walk his way, manifesting from the smoke, arms outstretched and mummified mouths wide open.   
  
He sprints away from them and the cloud of smoke as fast as his legs could offer. He hoped the biters would move towards the flames instead of pursuing him.   
  
Kyungsoo finds the side exit, the gate left slightly open. He hoped the others had escaped through it as well, and that he wasn’t leaving anyone behind. He couldn’t tell if the tears obscuring his vision was a result of the smoke, or his imminent fear. He stumbled around confused in the dying light of the evening and the burning embers of the school, trying to get further and further away from what was once his home. Even if it was for a short time, it still felt like home.   
  
But that was just a building. He needed to find the people that made him fall in love all over again, the people who made him believe that fighting in this world was worth more than surviving alone. His heart races just a little bit faster.  
  
He moved as quickly as he could away from it, knowing that the burning building would only attract more biters. He bashes two more that have wandered his way, channelling his anger and agony towards killing as many of the dead as he could. His whole body starts to feel like it’s being pulled to the ground.   
  
Slowing to a walk, Kyungsoo has been on the road for what felt like ages. He knew where he had to go, he had faith that the others would be there. That Jongin would be there.   
  
He felt extremely light-headed. Images flashed in his mind… Sehun’s witty humour, Wendy’s wacky laugh, Jongin’s sincere smile, Jongin’s soft voice, Jongin’s warm touches, Jongin.   
  
He was snapped back to the present by the sounds of faint, almost painful groaning. No mistaking it was a biter. He clutches the rifle angrily. The smoke still lingered in the air and Kyungsoo found it extremely difficult to hold back his coughs so he wouldn’t alert any others near him as he approached the weak gasps. He gripped the rifle harder, before bringing it up.   
  
It was definitely a biter; he could see that through the exaggerated movements. It was stuck underneath a heavy branch, weakly reaching out to Kyungsoo with his arm. Kyungsoo steps closer arms shaking in his hatred for the thing.  
  
Bile clogged his throat up the moment he recognised the figure under the ashes.   
  
“No. No, no, no, no,” Kyungsoo muttered, his entire body froze. He couldn’t even step away from it; he couldn’t look away. He was completely immobile with shock. “Not you, please, not you.”  
  
It hisses and gasps, calling out to him.   
  
He couldn’t trust his eyes. It had to be a trick of the smoke, he must have inhaled too much of it.   
  
His body began to obey him again. He moved closer to the biter cautiously, eliciting excited groans from it. The hand reaches out to him insistently, reminding him of the uniformed biter he bludgeoned on top the roof weeks ago. All he felt was a bone-crushing sense of despair, sending waves of pain through his entire body as he stares into its glazed eyes.  
  
With an aggressive growl, its other hand broke free and grabbed Kyungsoo’s ankle, yanking Kyungsoo’s body towards it and bringing it closer to its mouth so it could bite the flesh off his bones.   
  
Out of instinct, Kyungsoo kicks it violently in the face.   
  
He didn’t get time to regret hurting it, realising that it couldn’t feel pain like Kyungsoo did. It couldn't feel anything, but the inexorable urge to eat. The man he used to be was no more. He was just a biter now. He was dead.   
  
The corpse continued to groan and struggle, making a mockery of Kyungsoo’s pain. Kyungsoo couldn’t even cry. He raised the gun, and shot once.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Kyungsoo staggered to a stop when he heard a shout of his name. Lifting his head up, he could see the tall, familiar figure approaching him in a run. Even from the distance, Kyungsoo would recognise him.   
  
Something heavy fell in the pit of his stomach, and he felt like he needed to throw up all over again.   
  
“Kyungsoo, oh thank god you’re okay.” He kept feeling him up and down, checking for injuries, cupping his face, pulling him in for a hug, but Kyungsoo couldn’t find it in him to reciprocate. Or to feel relieved at all. He was shaking all over. “Now we only need to find–“  
  
“Jongin.”  
  
He started a little, but continued on, knowing how the aftermaths of the fire must have shocked him, “Kyungsoo, it’s going to be okay. We have you now, we just need to go–“  
  
“Jong– no, Jongin… he’s gone.”   
  
The tears he had been holding back threatened to resurface once again, but he knew he needed to be strong. He tried to hold himself together as confusion, disbelief and a thousand other emotions rushed through the other’s face till he finally realised the meaning of his words.   
  
“Sehun? I– How? It can’t be, Kyungsoo please no,” his words registered hollowly in his head. He grips Jongin’s jacket in tight fists.   
  
“I’m sorry. Sehun’s dead, Jongin. I’m so sorry.”   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
“How did the fire start?”  
  
Kyungsoo had Jongin wrapped up in blankets, his hand threading through his hair as consolingly as he could. Jongin was trembling underneath the layers. For once, he couldn’t even hear the rush of water against the rocks over the sound of his heart breaking.   
  
Yerim was silently crying next to him, burying her face against his torso with a strong grip on his other hand. It almost hurt, but he couldn’t really feel anything at the moment but a coldness in his core. Not the kind of cold that makes your body shiver, but the cold that holds you locked in its vice-like grip, rooting you to the ground so that you couldn't do anything but watch the rest of the world fall apart.   
  
“The firework misfired… It exploded in Wendy’s hands and all over the gasoline”, Sooyoung recounted, too shocked to cry herself.  
  
“So Wendy…?” Hyojung questioned.  
  
Sooyoung shakes her head. She had seen everything. From the explosion, to Eric getting buried in the rubble, to one of the kids, she didn’t even realise who at the time, being ripped to pieces right in front of her. She buries her face in her hands.   
  
Kyungsoo counts the children. Only four. His chest tightens to a painful pinch when he sees Taeyong without his brother.   
  
Hyojung wipes her eyes, sniffing before stating, “We've lost many of our family today.” She chokes on a sob. “But we can’t let that stop us from fighting.”  
  
“Fighting?”   
  
Kyungsoo is startled when Jongin raises himself up. “Kyungsoo was right. That stupid plan was bound to fail. We can’t be happy in this world. We’re all just going to–“  
  
“Hey, hey,” Kyungsoo hushes him softly, rubbing his back to try and calm him down.  
  
“What, are you going to leave again?”  
  
Kyungsoo knows Jongin didn’t mean it, and he can see the immediate regret reflecting in his dark eyes. “Sorry.” He pulls Kyungsoo close to him.  
  
“It’s okay. I’m not going anywhere.”  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
They’re behind the two vehicles that were recovered in the disaster, sluggishly cruising down a new path. In any case of emergency, they could still all fit inside them, but Kyungsoo and Jongin opt out of sitting this one. Instead, they’re leisurely walking, hand in hand.   
  
Kyungsoo shrugs his shoulder, trying to get Sehun’s rifle to slip back in place.   
  
It’s been days since they left their home in the flames. The fresh air is different to all the times Kyungsoo drove them around with their windows down. There was no breeze whipping hair all over his face. But even in the motionlessness of the air, he felt at peace, almost calm even.   
  
“What are we going to do now?”  
  
Jongin stopped walking, and like him, Kyungsoo stops too. He felt his hand being gripped tightly by the other.   
  
“You and I,” Jongin looked at him. There’s still a sadness lingering behind his eyes, but his gentle smile is tenderly bandaging his own broken soul. “We’re going to live. Together.”  
  
“Together,” he affirmed.   
  
Kyungsoo squeezed the warm hand held in his, a small, genuine smile perched on his lips. They continued to walk.   
  
 _Together._  

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to everyone who has read this fic, it means so much to me! feedback especially has been really welcome and lovely, so thank you! there's more kaisoo/ exo fics in the works, so stay tuuuuuuuuuuuned ♡ mama chrissy over n out


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